I'm awesome, but also normal

It is difficult to believe that it has now been over five months since I completed my ten-day stay at Schick Shadel hospital, the time has gone by so fast. And thankfully it has also gone by well.

I continue to enjoy not drinking, being a non-user is now just a part of my everyday life. I feel increasingly non-special about my non-using status, just as someone who doesn't ever wear long-sleeved blue shirts doesn't feel like that trait might set them apart. I, on the other hand, wear a navy blue long-sleeved shirt just about every day.

A woman who I first met during my ten-day stay also attends the weekly Schick Recovery Group meetings made a comment a couple of weeks ago that I really identified with. She talked about how she's learning to deal with the change in attitude that her non-use had become commonplace and less worthy of celebration. I have been feeling the same way. While our decision to have sought treatment remains no less commendable, being clean and sober is becoming less remarkable. Less something to be all "Yeah Me!" about.

Like losing weight, it is fun and people notice while it is happening and maybe just as it is ending, but a year or so later if you've kept the weight off your new size is just going to be part of who you are and people may forget what you once looked like.

I know my family certainly remembers the "weight" of my alcoholism and the affect it had them as well as me, and maybe they still find the "new me" new and exciting, but I'm becoming used to me.

I think this is a good thing, my new lifestyle is just normal and I don't have to feel odd or different at being a non-drinker.

I'm currently in a period where I'm doing a lot of business travel, I'm typing this while on the outbound leg of my third trip in three weeks, and the second to NYC with my last being just last week. In a previous blog post I wrote about my first post-treatment business trip where I experienced airports and flying without drinking for perhaps the first time. By now drinking Diet Coke or coffee during the flight doesn't seem weird at all.

Anyway, last week on my trip to New York I had dinner with the hosts and other guests of a panel I participated in. There were seven of us around the table and the group ordered a couple bottles of wine. The server came by and began distributing wine glasses and when he came to me I just waved him on and said I'd stick to the water. No weirdness, no gasps from the others in the group. And when toasts were made to congratulate the success of the meeting, I raised my water and clinked just as well as everyone else. I didn't need to explain why I wasn't drinking, it was just normal.

So that's where I'm at, I'm normal.

And I feel great.