Almost twelve years-- pushing myself and doing amazing things

Blog post

I apologize for not updating this blog for a long time, I promised an update and then failed to follow through. I’m sorry.

First, I’m still not drinking. 🎉 Recently I was reflecting with my girlfriend about how I don’t miss drinking at all and don’t have any desire for it. We were attending a concert, and for part of the evening ate dinner in a bar-like place, and really I can’t imagine ever going back to alcohol. Thank you Schick for removing the craving so thoroughly.

In my last post I hinted that I wanted to share something. I didn’t say what it was because part of me worried I could fail at what I was about to attempt. Better to succeed and then share the good news. Let me catch you up on what I’ve been up to. None of this would have been possible if I was still using alcohol.

I wrote in my September 2015 post that I was training for a 50k trail run, my first ultramarathon. Technically any race longer than 26.2 miles is an ultramarathon, but 50km (31 miles) is generally the gateway distance for the sport of ultras.

In October of 2015 I ran that race! It was difficult and painful. While I had trained for it there was much I didn’t know, and an inattention to electrolyte replacement caused me painful cramping at the halfway point. I suffered greatly in the last 15 miles. I pushed through it, though, and finished with a feeling of great accomplishment.

Finishing the Baker Lake 50K October 3, 2015

Fast forward to 2018. By the summer of 2018 I had run six more 50k races, and I had also done one 50 mile race. I was loving the training, the races, the community of runners.

In August 2018 I ran a tough 100K around Mt St Helens in Washington State. It was the longest run of my life, but it was essentially a training run for a 100 miler I was signed up to run in September.

Many runners who have completed the 100 mile distance talk about going through deep pain, or low emotional spots they need to push through. Sometimes these runners talk about learning something special about themselves, a glimpse of enlightenment achieved through incredible grit and determination. I wanted this. I was excited to share here what was revealed to me on the trail.

It was with a whiff of disappointment that I finished my 100 mile race without my epiphany. In fact while it was difficult and I did have low points, I didn’t really have an emotional finish. It went very well, but I didn’t have the story I expected to tell. So I didn’t write the blog post here that I promised. I wanted to tell you about how the previous version of me could never imagine completing a running adventure like this, that I training hard and set my mind to something that required tremendous focus and a healthy lifestyle. 

With my finisher awards at the finish line of the Mountain Lakes 100, September 22, 2018..

I’m in love, and my girlfriend is a tremendous supporter. We have a great time together.

My daughter is doing great, I fly to Washington from California at least twice a month to spend time with her. I’m a good dad and I’m lucky that she likes my company.

My life is busy. Run, work, travel for daughter, travel for girlfriend, travel for races, repeat.

Many ultramarathon runners are former alcoholics and drug addicts. The same obsessive tendency that made me a good drinker is helpful when I’m training five days a week and spending many hours on my feet.

In April 2019 I ran my second 100 mile race, it was harder than my first but I still didn’t have the emotional breakthrough I was after. But this race was also a training race, because in October of 2019 I competed in the Moab 240, a 240 mile single loop adventure in Moab Utah.

2019 was a busy training year, all focused on getting to and finishing Moab. Two 50Ks, a 50 milers, a 100K, a 100 miler, plus other super long training runs, I did a lot to get prepared.

This guy, this former drinker who, in 2007, weighed 240 pounds and was miserable, had really transformed. Now I was participating in one of the longest foot races in the world with some incredible athletes and I was exactly where I belonged.

I am inspired. I am inspiring. I am loved. I am in love. I am pushing myself and none of it would be possible if I still had a drink in my hand.

Finishing the Moab 240 in 98 hours, 27 minutes
Photo by Scott Rokis | www.scottrokis.com | Instagram

I finished my 240 mile race and it was the toughest physical challenge I have ever faced. I loved it. I have been searching for a limit, to push myself to breaking to see where it ends. I’m learning that limits are something we create for ourselves. It is truly amazing what we can accomplish.

Maybe that’s my takeaway. Maybe that’s what I can share with you.

We are amazing and can achieve anything.

Thank you for you following my story. Onward!