18 months

Recently the 18 month mark of my non-drinkerness passed, I am happy to report this aspect of my life is still going well.

I'll mark the occasion by posting this update, and I'll share a thought that I've been recently considering, a theory that was backed up with some real world experience just last night.

One thing I have heard more than several times, both while in treatment and in group meetings since, is that patients coming out treatment will probably need to find new social circles-- find new friends-- because the old friends aren't going to understand, they aren't going to accept you, they are going to pressure you to use.

Maybe my experience is unusual but I can think of exactly two times in the last year and a half where I was "challenged" about my decision not to drink. One was on a long dinner-time flight from Boston back to Seattle, the flight attendant was being very service-oriented and kept offering me wine with a slight hint of surprise that I wasn't accepting until I finally put a stop to it with a friendly "I can't drink." The second time I was "pressured" was this last April at a bar in Las Vegas. I was attending a party with industry friends and guess what, most people were drinking, and I asked the bar tender for a Sprite. "Just Sprite?" he asked with a skeptically raised brow. "Yes, just Sprite," I replied. I think there was one more round of back and forth, but I don't remember the exact conversation. Clearly I was able to handle it.

In my experience the people around you probably won't notice what you're drinking. They probably don't care. They are probably, understandably, paying closest attention to themselves.

So last night I went to a party, a get together of a bunch of old friends from high school and I hadn't seen some of these people since our 10-year reunion eight years ago. Instructions in the invite were to bring a sharable appetizer and, of course, BYOB. I brought the only app I know how to make (a garlic dip that I expected to be ignored but ended up being a hit), two Sprites and an bottle of water. I know how to party.

Based on the theme of my post you might surmise that no one noticed I wasn't imbibing, but actually you would be wrong. One person did ask me about it, one close friend who already knew that I stopped drinking and asked me how it was going. Not to challenge me, not to test me, but to learn more about my success because he cares about me.

Everyone at the party was having a grand time laughing and many were getting pretty silly, it was a fun night. No one asked why I wasn't doing shots, no one thought I was weird, no one made me feel uncomfortable.

It is wise council to beware that there will come times when someone will inevitably invite you to stray from your convictions, but I'm not sure you need to make yourself sick worrying about it. You may be, as I have been, pleasantly surprised by how little people are concerned with your business.

I wish good luck and continued success to all of those who have worn the green scrubs. I am grateful for this journey, and there is more to come.